wallflowerlogic

The things they don’t tell you about programming

Okay, I knew it’ll be a struggle to learn anything new, especially something as foreign to myself as programming, but then that’s why reliable guidance is important because, whatttttttt!

So, ever since I left my job in August I’ve been working on a portfolio website. I did an interview shortly after quitting that humbled me and made me realize that I didn’t know shitt! Okay fine, I do know some stuff, but clearly not to their expectations cause dangggg, I flopped hard. Even though I have reservations about the role I was interviewing for; they seemed to be wanting an expert with a beginner title, but still.

I decided to take programming a bit more seriously and decided to build myself a portfolio website. No code alongs, I’ll use what I already know and what I didn’t know, I’ll find. But I wouldn’t be doing a word for word code along. I wanted to be able to defend what I put down and show case as many of my skills as I can.

And it’s been going great! Like fantastic! It’s been hard and taking longer than I planned, but it was coming together nicely, that is up until about a month ago when it stopped working. Literally.

It’s a react application. A dynamic website that’ll be simple enough to handle, but still show that I got a clue, you know, something not too shabby… And we’ve been taking it slow and steady, up until the home page stopped working. Ahn ahn. Why? It was working a second ago, I didn’t edit anything so what’s happening? Is it the routing? That worked perfectly fine, I’d been trying to grab a hold of React Router for a minute and now it works. But why is it malfunctioning? Is it my internet? Reload the page. Close it and reopen. Shut down and restart. Nothing worked. I was scared. I didn’t want this to become an abandoned project. I didn’t want to leave it, I wanted to find the error fix it and make it work, but no matter how much I looked it over, I couldn’t find what was wrong.

Okay okay, we’re solution oriented, we’re AIESECers, we find ways when there’s no way. And to be programmers, we have to be problem solvers. Okay, we’re doing this. We’re fixing it.
First, find what the problem is <there’s going to be a lot of programming beginner gibberish, you could sit through it or skip this paragraph>. The react router is in the navbar component, I linked the logo to “/home” to display the Home page. There’s also a navlink; “/projects” to a “Projects” page. “Localhost3000/projects” would display in the browser just fine but “localhost3000/home” wouldn’t. Imported home page to app.js and bypass the router, it would display, but navbar logo and /home wouldn’t, just a blank white page after it’s done loading. I Checked how I imported home page to the navbar component, it’s same as the project’s. Changed the name /home to something else; homer, homes, even the name of the function being exported from the home page as well, no difference. Switched /projects for /home and vice versa, no avail. It was clear at this point that it wasn’t the name “/home”, but the home page that refused to work with the routing and I couldn’t figure out why.

I go to stack overflow, the problems those ones are having there aren’t the same as my own. I Google other sites and I’m not finding what I’m looking for. At this point it’s beginning to get to me but no, we’re not getting frustrated over this, no. I’ll leave it for a bit and come back.

I casually mentioned it to a tech bro I know, he said to send it to him. Figured out how to push to GitHub and send him link. Days later he says he’s fixed it. I’m over joyed but still don’t check it yet.

In the time that I’ve left it, I’ve finished two Coursera courses and applied for other stuff + had numerous lazy days. But still, we mustn’t give up, so we keep it in mind, randomly watch YouTube videos to see if I’ll see something, a different way, some similar error, anything.

Yesterday I gather liver, opened GitHub, merged his changes and pulled. Baba had un commented the home page importation to app.js completely bypassing the routing and missing the point of the problem. 😒. I was so pissed. I kinda knew he wouldn’t have made it work the way I wanted it to despite my explanations, maybe I didn’t explain well enough, but either way sha. Problem unfixed.

Today I saw make we look am again. I prayed,
Heavenly Father, please help me with this, I don’t care how stupid finding it would make me feel, just help me find it and fix it.

Then made my way to YouTube again. Watched routing tutorial, mine was as perfect as theirs and theirs worked! It was At this point frustration began to set in. I was determined to host it even if I couldn’t find the issue. I began tweaking things, delete the entire home page, rebuild it, dismantle stuff and bring back together.

I then thought back to the last major thing I did. I created an about us page and linked it to a component on the home page with another router.
I comment out the router bits and /home works again!

NO ONE TOLD ME YOU CAN’T USE TWO ROUTERS ON A SINGLE REACT APP! JEEEZZZZZ! WHAT THE HECKKK!

I don’t know whether to feel foolish that I didn’t think to undo the last major thing I tried before it all went haywire or happy that I had learned something only experience would teach you.

In my defense, I had turned off autosave; my system is slow and I didn’t want the app reloading everything I type a letter. So I had done a lot before I saved making it harder to pinpoint the mistake . And, I assumed the issue was with the home page not another page linked to it about two pages away.

Anyway, problem solved. Website building continues. We move.

Moral Lesson: Sometimes you wouldn’t find your errors on stack overflow, try stuff undo shit. You made it, it’s not magic, you can break it and rebuild it better.
Also, Jesus answers prayers.

Why can’t I learn a programming language?

I started learning to code in 2020, I’ve been committed on and off for two years now, learning other stuff, distracting myself because there’s a huge hurdle I’ve been trying to cross and has not been going so well. JavaScript.

I’ve skipped the hurdle and moved on to React. React Js, but the Js part be laughing at me as I skim pass it with a transparent mask. I should really remove all those other languages from my CV, I’ve barely done JavaScript, why would I be claiming Java and C++.

I went to a boot camp. They ran through the curriculum, attempting to teach us everything useful for web development and more, from HTML, CSS & JS, to SQL, Java, C++ and C#. They practically breezed through it, one after the other, but that’s no excuse. It was a lot. I’m still stuck on the JS plane. I was so focused on C# at some point, playing with Windows forms a lotttt and I enjoyed it, like so much. But then, that technology is outdated and no one uses windows forms anymore, it’s all internet and cloud based now😒.

Can’t call myself a C# dev either cause I can’t use the language, it’s mainly the windows forms features I like playing with.

I have ideas on what I want to do for the coding part, I just have trouble translating said ideas to code format. I’ve been trying to relearn(JavaScript) but I’ve taken a break from it again. It’s not fun and it gives me so much tension and anxiety. Well considering I get anxiety from almost everything, I shouldn’t blame JS. I was playing a kids game some days ago and was getting mad anxiety about not winning. I was still in the early levels of the game and it showed no signs of getting harder, yet here I was panicking and telling myself I’ll be confirmed a failure if I fail a level of a candy crush wannabe. I really need something for that. Therapy, medication, something.

I want to be able to do this. I owe it to my parents who spent almost half a mill back then for me to learn to code. I can’t be calling myself a front end developer and be stuck on HTML & CSS. Oh did I mention my UI/UX is shit? Yeah. It is. I want to take a course to be able to better that.

I enjoy learning stuff. Theory stuff. Abstract courses that influence, channel and challenge your way of thinking. I fell in love with Sociology so hard. I like psychology and other subjects along that line. But then I studied those for 4 years in University and even during that time, I had no idea how to use it; it didn’t occur to me to “activate my brain” in that direction and think suchly.

I’ve been learning Product And Project Management. Hoping I’ll still be able to claim “Tech Sis” if I’m at least a bit proficient in the non coding area of tech, even though I’ve looked down on people who did that in the past. Gosh, why am I so condescending?

The only practical thing I seem to not mind doing is baking. Mixing flour and making dough for stuff and frying or baking it. But then, that comes from confidence of seeing my mum do it time and time again. Maybe my dad was right to want to send me to baking school, but no, “bAkInG iS a tYpIcAl tHinG 😌” I’ve been so foolish in my life.

Wo see, I’m tired. In summary, I’m scared of driving, scared of coding but I want to learn it. So help me God. Amen.

**end of rant**

I quit my job 2

I locked myself in the toilet for 2 hours in quiet protest (lol) and walked out of the office at closing time. I received a suspension mail at midnight (talk about no time boundary) on the grounds of rudeness and insubordination. Was asked to explain my two hour absence from my desk and was mandated to attend a training on office etiquette for two weeks (without pay ) and come back with proof from my office etiquette trainer, of my reformed behaviour. I responded with a filmsy excuse explaining my time in the toilet as I had lost all liver at this point; I was pained but still wanted the job. I also feigned sickness so I wouldn’t be able to work that day. He lied (🤣) to get me to send the copy of the office keys with me, which I did. After he confirmed receipt of the keys, he stopped responding to me. Tried to reach out to him about the suspension and a bit of company fund with me, but no response.

I spent the two weeks just asking what the heck? Like I know I could have handled the situation better, maybe not locked myself in the toilet, though I couldn’t bear to look at him right then and I didn’t want others seeing me cry. Either way not an excuse. But still the way he chose to deal with said situation was a two week suspension and a salary slash? Nah. I was doing it for the work experience but I’ll rather have work experience somewhere where I’m sure I’m not the only employee on a steady payroll, where there is a standard way of handling employee matters and an actual plan for managing members of staff, not when you’ve think you’ve done well and are deserving, someone comes to ask “what extra did you do for the day? “.

Maybe I’m just lazy; wanting to just carry out instructions and not take on managerial responsibility. Maybe I’m wrong and I was deserving of the punishment I got. Either way a decision had to be made, go back, be miserable and be subject to the whims of ,”the all powerful and entitled”, who takes no responsibility for his doings, clearly doesn’t hold up his end of the bargain and dosen’t pay enough to compensate for his assholery. Or look for a better paying job with better managerial plans and support .

I know the smarter plan would have been to stay there and continue my job hunt while I still had a job. At least I wouldn’t be completely broke, and yes, I know there’s no guarantee that I wouldn’t encounter a similar experience at a new job. However I decided it’s too early in my life to be miserable. I’ll do my job search from home and spend the time bettering myself. I’ll have my time to myself and not have to wake up 5:30 every morning to go to a job I hate while I can afford not to. Yes, I’m missing out on job experience and free Wi-Fi and a stipend, and even though my mental health is still not it since I left (the job market is brutal) I doubt it’ll be better there.

So there’s that.

I quit my job

I’m such an ungrateful ass, I know. I mean this man took me on with little to no experience and gave me an opportunity to prove myself, yet here I am being so rude and insubordinate.

I laugh in my head as I type this🤣. I don’t know if to call this growth for my people pleasing ass but I don’t regard that a favour. Yes, there are other candidates who’ll give anything to have what I had, but then let them have it, I’m going in pursuit of something better.

I thought I was finally ready to talk about this, but here I am typing rubbish, anyway, we move.

So I mentioned in my previous post, someone with so much faith in me recommended me for a job. Was doing said job and proving myself, so I was told by my boss. He seemed pissed that I had personal boundaries and wouldn’t work outside of work time, but hey, which self made entrepreneur wouldn’t be?

Let’s get this straight, my boss isn’t a monster alright, he’s just not so great at managing people and treating his staff.
It’s a small start up. The dude is into a couple of things as well as software development for himself and clients. He decided he needed help turning his little thing to a big thing and tried to employ more people, but that wasn’t going too well, for him or the employees.

From the way I see it, he didn’t have a clear plan for the people he hired; managing them, training them, delegating effectively, company policy, alladat. He also wasn’t very good at communication; he expected a lot, wouldn’t tell you and would berate you when you didn’t meet said imaginary expectations. Also, his pay was shit but then again, which start up’s pay isn’t.

I decided that I had enough of the experience, I’d learned all I could from there and what I didn’t learn I’ll learn elsewhere. This wasn’t before I had a fallout with him though.

He told me I was getting a raise. That he had recognised my hard work and was rewarding it. Then he told me there was something he wanted me to do. He wanted me to work on a WordPress site. I didn’t have enough WordPress experience and he said he’ll train me, and in the meantime I should attempt to train myself on the subject. I did, but still required his promised training. Anytime I brought up the subject of the WordPress training, he’ll postpone it, saying he was busy and true, he was, as was I, ’cause he did give me other stuff to work on, and I did.

In the meantime, we got a new intern, some high school kid, wasn’t sure what her work was but hey, she didn’t bug me, so why should I care.
End of the month comes, time for raise, no raise. I asked why, then he told me the raise was tied to the job I didn’t do and since I didn’t do that, no raise.

First off, I don’t remember him making a connection between the job and the raise.
Second, I reminded him on his promise to train me on how to do said job and that we’ve both been occupied with other things. Also, the fact that I wasn’t even given access to said site.
Can’t remember how the whole thing went down, but I do remember him saying he contracted the job to the new intern, that’s why she was here and I should be grateful for the opportunity for the raise as I hadn’t completed my probation era (was to be six months, had been working 4) and that next time, I should take more opportunities seriously.

**so sorry for the length, check out part two for the rest of the gist😉**

Html wants to ruin my destiny

I’m past this level…
I’ve been learning to code since November 2020; it was my pandemic skill and I’m so proud of it… even if it was technically post pandemic and I was practically dragged into it, still I did it.

Over the course of time, I’ve learned HTML, CSS, JavaScript, BootStrap, Jquery, Angular, UI/UX, React, C++, C#, Java and Linux. Impressive right? Ahem, just because I know how to print “Hello World” to console and concatenate two strings doesn’t mean I know it; I’ve learned it, doesn’t mean I know it. But you see those first 2; HTML, CSS, I can beat my chest anywhere that “Ah! What is it? Their daddy’s daddies!” At least I thought I could until I had an actual job to do.

Now I had been practicing on my own for a whileeeee… I’ve done my own projects, and made my own stuff, but I’ve never really gotten using a frame work down neither have I been able to edit or work well with someone else’s code; two of which are the most important skills any front end dev ought to have…

So any way, I got a job. I was recommend by someone who had so much faith in me, and was taken in on the basis of said faith… And now I have to prove my self… And I was given the opportunity to… And I’m messing up… HTML is messing me up.

It’s a simple project; revamp a web page. It was made with a template in PHP, however I’m only to work on the HTML. Note: This page is as static as modern day requirements would allow; like, minimal responsiveness, single page application… All the points on the nav bar link to various sections on the webpage… I’m just to edit some content and change the placement of a few things. So there’s no reason for it to be hard right? Wrongggg!

Gosh! I couldn’t have been so wrong… I’ve been on this for about 3 days now! Either the content I’m including isn’t reflecting on the page or the bootstrap classes are fucking shit up or one video content format isn’t supported. Even finding the content is a struggle in itself… I’m tired. I’m trying to prove myself to be serious and capable hence worthy, but here I am fumbling with simple HTM freaking L.

To crown it all, I fell sick. Now I have to take a sick day and am not further attempting to prove my worthiness.
I feel like a bum.

Moral of the story: Don’t underestimate anything. Nothing is too small to humble you. Also don’t rate yourself until you’ve had real work to do as that’ll only lead to an over confidence induced disaster…

PS: YouTube code-alongs don’t count.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk