I started learning to code in 2020, I’ve been committed on and off for two years now, learning other stuff, distracting myself because there’s a huge hurdle I’ve been trying to cross and has not been going so well. JavaScript.
I’ve skipped the hurdle and moved on to React. React Js, but the Js part be laughing at me as I skim pass it with a transparent mask. I should really remove all those other languages from my CV, I’ve barely done JavaScript, why would I be claiming Java and C++.
I went to a boot camp. They ran through the curriculum, attempting to teach us everything useful for web development and more, from HTML, CSS & JS, to SQL, Java, C++ and C#. They practically breezed through it, one after the other, but that’s no excuse. It was a lot. I’m still stuck on the JS plane. I was so focused on C# at some point, playing with Windows forms a lotttt and I enjoyed it, like so much. But then, that technology is outdated and no one uses windows forms anymore, it’s all internet and cloud based now😒.
Can’t call myself a C# dev either cause I can’t use the language, it’s mainly the windows forms features I like playing with.
I have ideas on what I want to do for the coding part, I just have trouble translating said ideas to code format. I’ve been trying to relearn(JavaScript) but I’ve taken a break from it again. It’s not fun and it gives me so much tension and anxiety. Well considering I get anxiety from almost everything, I shouldn’t blame JS. I was playing a kids game some days ago and was getting mad anxiety about not winning. I was still in the early levels of the game and it showed no signs of getting harder, yet here I was panicking and telling myself I’ll be confirmed a failure if I fail a level of a candy crush wannabe. I really need something for that. Therapy, medication, something.
I want to be able to do this. I owe it to my parents who spent almost half a mill back then for me to learn to code. I can’t be calling myself a front end developer and be stuck on HTML & CSS. Oh did I mention my UI/UX is shit? Yeah. It is. I want to take a course to be able to better that.
I enjoy learning stuff. Theory stuff. Abstract courses that influence, channel and challenge your way of thinking. I fell in love with Sociology so hard. I like psychology and other subjects along that line. But then I studied those for 4 years in University and even during that time, I had no idea how to use it; it didn’t occur to me to “activate my brain” in that direction and think suchly.
I’ve been learning Product And Project Management. Hoping I’ll still be able to claim “Tech Sis” if I’m at least a bit proficient in the non coding area of tech, even though I’ve looked down on people who did that in the past. Gosh, why am I so condescending?
The only practical thing I seem to not mind doing is baking. Mixing flour and making dough for stuff and frying or baking it. But then, that comes from confidence of seeing my mum do it time and time again. Maybe my dad was right to want to send me to baking school, but no, “bAkInG iS a tYpIcAl tHinG 😌” I’ve been so foolish in my life.
Wo see, I’m tired. In summary, I’m scared of driving, scared of coding but I want to learn it. So help me God. Amen.
**end of rant**
The Almost Tech Sis 